Shyness is am extremely big issue for some people. It stops you from achieving your full potential and working towards your goals. It creates obstacles in your professional and personal life when you can’t communicate effectively with people. However being shy is a pretty common problem and 4 out of 10 people consider themselves shy. As an ex-introvert, I will share the top 15 methods on how to stop being shy.
How To Stop Being Shy-
1. Don’t inform people
Don’t tell people you are shy when you meet them. You might feel uneasy, uncomfortable or find it difficult to open up, but chances are that they won’t notice it. So don’t go around telling them and focus on having a nice conversation.
2. Keep it casual
Don’t get flustered or nervous if someone brings up your shyness. Keep it casual and try to just go with the flow. It isn’t a negative trait so you should not be embarrassed of being shy and should own it.
3. Stay away from bullies
Some people like to be mean or rude without caring about the other person’s feelings. They will be cruel just to be funny for a bit or make people laugh. This can have a negative impact on how you view yourself, so try to stay far away from bullies.
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4. Make a list
Write down a list of things or situations that trigger your shyness. Knowing the enemy is half of the battle and when you figure this out, you will be able to face your fears. Come up with solutions to your list of issues and take help from someone if required.
5. Place your attention on other people
Mostly we feel anxious when we focus on ourselves in front of a big group of people. Instead of thinking about yourself and your actions, focus on the people around you. This will distract you from your triggers or flaws and you’ll be able to take part in the conversation. Concentrate on being compassionate because when you’re thinking about others you can’t feel shy anymore.
6. Visualize confidence
Once a day you should close your eyes and imagine yourself in places or scenarios that make you shy or make you feel flustered. Then think of yourself being confident and coming out of that scenario successfully. When you do this activity a lot of times, you will be able to manifest it and recreate it in real life.
7. Practice good posture
Standing straight instills confidence in you and gives others the idea that you are receptive to them. Lifting your head up high and pushing your shoulders back tricks your brain into feeling confident. It decreases shyness and stress.
8. Practice speaking clearly
It is very important to have a loud and clear voice when you are talking to people otherwise you will go unheard. Practice speaking out loud in private so that it is easy for you to do it in public. This will reduce embarrassment which you feel when you have to repeat something. Don’t be too quiet or mumble.
9. Don’t copy others
Don’t try to copy an extrovert’s personality and don’t compare yourself to them. Every single person is different and has their strengths and weaknesses. If you compare yourself to other people you might feel that you are lacking. If you copy them, it might hurt their feelings or make the people around you feel funny. Just be yourself and focus on improving the characteristics you already possess.
10. Identify your strengths
Being the center of attention in every room is not the only good social quality to possess. There are many more social strengths that you might have but fail to identify. You can be a good listener for people who need to vent. You could have an eye for detail and are an excellent observer. Figure it out and use that particular strength often in social gatherings.
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11. Stay informed
If you have a social event coming up, the best way to avoid being shy is to prepare for it. For a business meeting ensure that you know every detail of the case thoroughly. If it’s a party read up on some fresh topics like new movies, TV shows, the government news etc. You can use these to keep the conversation going when you don’t know what to say.
12. Converse in stages
There are stages to every conversation so you can follow a basic guideline while talking to people. This allows you to go on autopilot and not feel shy. There are 4 stages to every conversation-
a. Opening line which consists of small talk
b. Then comes the introductions
c. Find a common topic which both parties are interested in
d. Closing line which is basically summing up the conversation or exchanging information to stay in touch
13. Warm up
You can have the same conversation with multiple people at a party. This will warm you up and prepare you for when you want to have real conversations with someone. Spend 2-3 minutes with each person and then move on. When you feel ready, go ahead and talk to the people you really want to talk to. This is the best use of your time.
14. Make eye contact and smile
Make sure you smile and make eye contact when you meet people for the first time. This will make you look welcoming and kind. You’ll look friendly and more people will want to talk to you.
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15. Find your comfortable space
All of us don’t enjoy parties that last all night or some weekend getaways. Some might prefer quiet dinners or a movie. Find the place where you feel like yourself the most and try to socialize there. There are a lot of places in the world so keep looking and don’t give up.
1. How to stop being shy and quiet?
A. Talk to new people and form new connections and relationships. Spend more time in social places where you feel comfortable.
2. How to stop being shy and awkward?
A. To stop being awkward, find common topics to talk to other people about. Read the news daily and watch the latest movies to make sure that the conversation keeps going.
3. How to stop being shy at school?
A. Join clubs and teams in your school because that will give you a group of friends with similar interests. Spend time with them outside school as well in order to develop a real, long lasting bond.
Humans are essentially social creatures so they will want to talk to you. Don’t be shy or afraid of meeting new people and approaching them. Use the above tips to come out of your shell and blossom into a confident person. Best of luck in all your future social interactions.